The first time is always the most difficult. The first time I said good-bye at the airport knowing I would be away for more than a few weeks was heart wrenching. Other firsts were also difficult: the first time I was away from my loved ones on Thanksgiving, the first time I was away from my loved ones at Christmas, the first time I took a pour bath, the first time I slept under a mosquito net, the first time I washed laundry by hand, the first time I ate a frog, the first time I slept with roosters, .....
Ever since I had arrived in the Philippines, I faced first time occurrences almost daily. I was bombarded on all sides by everything unfamiliar. I did not know how to act or what to say. I was learning not to ask so many questions. I was also learning how to ask when there was a need to ask. It was all in my tone of voice and how I phrased my query. It had to be done in a certain manner. And now, after a short time in the mountains, I needed to learn something new -- to be a silent observer.
God was showing me to just step back and learn by watching. There was no need to always be asking questions. Many times it helps to just be silent and observe what is going on. I did that when I was faced with the prospect of eating a frog for the first time. I didn't know what to do. Instead of asking a question, I simply observed someone else eat a frog and then I was able to do it. I had learned simply by watching.
I am someone who likes to talk. I am someone who likes to ask questions. I am someone who likes to be in control. It is not easy for me to be silent. It is not easy for me to just sit back and watch. I see a situation where I can do something and so I want to jump in and do it. But this is not always God's way.
God spent more than 10 years teaching me Proverbs 24:32. He knew that I needed to observe situations carefully, learn lessons from them, and then apply what I learned to my daily life. God knew that once I learned this lesson, my life would become a blessing to those around me. God put situation after situation into my life where I needed to be silent and learn by watching; where I needed to be silent and simply let God work.
The sad thing is that it has taken over ten years of situation after situation for me to truly learn Proverbs 24:32. It has taken God's incredible patience in my life in order for me to grasp His wonderful concept of simply being a silent observer. The first time was the hardest. But, as God brought each situation into my life, it got easier and easier until being a silent observer was and is a part of who I am.
Yet, In order for me to learn this lesson, I had to make a choice. I had to make the choice to face each situation and not run away from it. I had to make the choice to remain silent. I didn't always make the right choices. I have failed many times. Yet, God never gave up on me.
I am so grateful for God's patience. I am so grateful for God knowing that He had to bring me to the Philippines in order for me to learn the many lessons that He wanted me to learn. He reached way down deep inside of me and wrenched out the old nature and the old Valerie. Now, as a result of many years and through the patience of God, the old Valerie is gone. For that I will always be grateful.
Just as God never gave up on me, He will never give up on you. All He asks is that you never give up on yourself. Each time God brings a new situation into your life, face it head on and then learn from it; accept all that God has for you.
I like to remember that people are watching. What do people see as they observe my life? Am I a blessing to them? Am I pointing them to Jesus? Do they smile when they see me? How will they remember me after I am gone? These questions help to remind me that my job is to always make sure that I am living the life that God wants me to live -- not the life I want to live.
The first time is always the most difficult. But what a comfort to know that God knows the way that you take just like He knows the way that I take.
How to Live out Proverbs 24:32:
1. Look--Watch what is going on around you; be an observer.
2. Listen--Hear what people are saying; be silent.
3. Learn--Grasp the lessons that God is teaching you.
4. Live--Apply to your life daily all that God has taught you.
5. Legacy--Remember that people are watching. What do they see? How will they remember you when you are gone?
