January 1, 2009

God's Word is Gold -- Nugget #3

Proverbs 24:32  I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw.  

   The first time is always the most difficult.   The first time I said good-bye at the airport knowing I would be away for more than a few weeks was heart wrenching.  Other firsts were also difficult: the first time I was away from my loved ones on Thanksgiving, the first time I was away from my loved ones at Christmas, the first time I took a pour bath, the first time I slept under a mosquito net, the first time I washed laundry by hand, the first time I ate a frog, the first time I slept with roosters, .....   
   Ever since I had arrived in the Philippines, I faced first time occurrences almost daily.   I was bombarded on all sides by everything unfamiliar.  I did not know how to act or what to say.   I was learning not to ask so many questions.  I was also learning how to ask when there was a need to ask.  It was all in my tone of voice and how I phrased my query.   It had to be done in a certain manner.   And now, after a short time in the mountains, I needed to learn something new -- to be a silent observer.   
   God was showing me to just step back and learn by watching.   There was no need to always be asking questions.   Many times it helps to just be silent and observe what is going on.   I did that when I was faced with the prospect of eating a frog for the first time.   I didn't know what to do. Instead of asking a question, I simply observed someone else eat a frog and then I was able to do it.   I had learned simply by watching.   
   I am someone who likes to talk.   I am someone who likes to ask questions.   I am someone who likes to be in control.   It is not easy for me to be silent.   It is not easy for me to just sit back and watch.   I see a situation where I can do something and so I want to jump in and do it. But this is not always God's way.  
   God spent more than 10 years teaching me Proverbs 24:32.   He knew that I needed to observe situations carefully, learn lessons from them, and then apply what I learned to my daily life. God knew that once I learned this lesson, my life would become a blessing to those around me.  God put situation after situation into my life where I needed to be silent and learn by watching; where I needed to be silent and simply let God work.  
   The sad thing is that it has taken over ten years of situation after situation for me to truly learn Proverbs 24:32.   It has taken God's incredible patience in my life in order for me to grasp His wonderful concept of simply being a silent observer.   The first time was the hardest.  But, as God brought each situation into my life, it got easier and easier until being a silent observer was and is a part of who I am.  
   Yet, In order for me to learn this lesson, I had to make a choice.   I had to make the choice to face each situation and not run away from it.   I had to make the choice to remain silent.   I didn't always make the right choices.  I have failed many times.   Yet, God never gave up on me.    
   I am so grateful for God's patience.   I am so grateful for God knowing that He had to bring me to the Philippines in order for me to learn the many lessons that He wanted me to learn.   He reached way down deep inside of me and wrenched out the old nature and the old Valerie.   Now, as a result of many years and through the patience of God, the old Valerie is gone. For that I will always be grateful.   
   Just as God never gave up on me, He will never give up on you.   All He asks is that you never give up on yourself.  Each time God brings a new situation into your life, face it head on and then learn from it; accept all that God has for you.  
  I like to remember that people are watching.   What do people see as they observe my life?   Am I a blessing to them?   Am I pointing them to Jesus?   Do they smile when they see me?  How will they remember me after I am gone?   These questions help to remind me that my job is to always make sure that I am living the life that God wants me to live -- not the life I want to live.   
  The first time is always the most difficult.   But what a comfort to know that God knows the way that you take just like He knows the way that I take.   

How to Live out Proverbs 24:32: 
   1. Look--Watch what is going on around you; be an observer.
   2. Listen--Hear what people are saying; be silent.
   3. Learn--Grasp the lessons that God is teaching you.  
   4. Live--Apply to your life daily all that God has taught you.
   5. Legacy--Remember that people are watching.  What do they see? How will they remember you when you are gone?    

December 31, 2008

The Mountain Man

   In early 1989 the Boado Family had a reunion in the mountains. They invited Pastor Cleveland to join them.   Pastor Cleveland then invited Pastor Nordlander to join him.   Pastor Nordlander then invited his son Johnny to join him.   Johnny then invited me to join them all.   I gladly accepted the indirect invitation.  I was looking forward to the cultural experience and was excited for the journey.   
   The four of us took off one morning for the hike up the mountain.   It took us nearly 1 and 1/2 hours to make the nearly 5 km walk from the town of Pugo up to the Boado Family home, Ayosep.   It was a beautiful walk.  Most of it was up a winding dirt road.  The final kilometer was off onto a weed and vine covered pathway.  As we came up over the last small rise and rounded the last vine covered tree, we looked across a rice paddy and saw the small family house about 100m away.   I could hear voices and see people standing around.   I was thrilled to be in this beautiful and remote place.   It reminded me of growing up in the mountains of Colorado.   
   As we approached the house, I saw a young man outside helping cook the food at the fire.   I found out later that he was Pastor Andrew's brother, Mike.   I remember being impressed that he was cooking.   (And that wasn't even on my list!!)  
  All four of us hikers were welcomed into the Boado home as if each of us had been given personal invitations.   I was amazed at their hospitality and kindness.   We were given cold water from the flowing well and a place to sit down.  We sat on a bench made out of a log.  All of this next to a small pond surrounded by coconut trees. 
   What really stands out in my mind is the evening meal.   I was given a plate with a frog on it.   Yes, a frog.   Not just frog legs either.   The entire green frog with legs and skin and head and ... well, a frog.  It had simply been boiled.   As I stood there with the frog on my plate, I wondered what I was supposed to do.   My mind was going 100mph -- Do I eat the whole thing?   Do I eat the head?   Where do I start?   Do I use my fingers? -- So many questions were rambling around inside my brain.   I just stood there wondering and waiting.   
   As I waited, Pastor Andrew came up to me and challenged me to eat the frog.   I looked at him and without blinking said:  "Ok, but you go first."   I figured I would allow him to eat ahead of me so I could watch and learn exactly what I was supposed to do.   
    He said:  "Ok." I watched wide eyed as he first picked up the frog by the head with his fingers. Next, he stuck both of the legs completely inside his mouth.   After that, he clamped his teeth down on the legs right before the body of the frog.   Then, he simply pulled the frog legs out of his mouth.   As he pulled the frog legs out of his mouth, only the meat stayed inside. I watched as he ate the meat with a smile on his face.  
  I too had a smile on my face.   If you could have heard my thoughts it would have been something like this:  "That is all?   I only have to eat the legs?   I don't have to eat the entire frog? God is so good to me.   I can do that."    
   Pastor Andrew looked at me and said:  "It's your turn."   I then took the frog and did exactly what he had done with a huge smile on my face.   Everyone watched,  laughing and clapping for the Americana who had just eaten a frog.   
   After dinner I remember going outside to be alone.   I was fascinated by the brightness of the stars.   At that time in the mountains, there were no electric wires and so no electric lights. The lack of electricity made for brilliant stars in the night sky.   I was mesmerized.   
   Pastor Andrew's brother, Mike, found me outside enjoying the sky.   He said:  "I can take you up higher and you can see the stars even better."   So, the two of us walked up and away from the house about 30 meters.  We sat in the tall grass and looked at the lights.   Two hours later we were friends.   I had heard all about his life in Manila and Baguio and his quest to become a Catholic priest. I had heard about his girlfriend, a nurse in the USA.   I had also heard about his love for the mountains and his desire to have a coffee plantation.   Wow, a mountain man who spoke beautiful English and was easy to talk to.  (I do believe those things were on my list.)
   That night, along with many of the others at the reunion, I slept on the open back porch of the Boado Family home.  It was a bamboo floor elevated above the ground.   The space under the porch was a useful storage facility and also home to several animals.   
   As I fell asleep, I remember thinking to myself:  "Mike Boado has knowledge of God but no relationship with Him.   When Mike Boado opens his heart to Jesus, he will be a powerful man of God."   I began to pray that God would become real to Mike Boado.   
  I also remember waking up several times in the dark of the night -- What was that sound?  Where am I?  Why is it so dark? -- I glanced about the porch and saw the silhouettes of the other people still sound asleep around me.   Ahhh -- they were all used to the fact that a rooster crowing right underneath their bed was a normal everyday occurrence.   I, on the other hand, had never slept with a rooster before.   Needless to say, I was not bright eyed and bushy tailed the next morning.    
   As I walked down the mountain after the reunion, I knew that I had learned some more valuable lessons.   I also knew that I had found a place that would always be special to me -- Ayosep, the mountain home of the Boado Family.   I knew in my heart that I would return.   I didn't know when, but I knew that I had fallen in love with the beautiful mountain place.   What I didn't know was that I was also falling in love with the mountain man -- Pastor Andrew's brother.      

December 26, 2008

Val's Top Ten List

   The story of Pastor Andrew's Brother reminded me of the summer of 1986.  It was early June and I was at the Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF) headquarters in Warrenton, Missouri. I was attending a two-week training course before I flew off to the island of Cyprus in the Mediterranean Sea to teach Bible classes all summer as a CEF missionary.   
  I will never forget one of the instructors challenging us to make a list.   I do not remember the instructor's name or face.   I only remember his challenge -- make a list of at least ten things you need/desire in your spouse.   And then, pray over that list and pray for your spouse.   Wow!!!   A wonderful challenge that I accepted fully.   
   I remember sitting down that evening and praying.  I prayed: "Lord, I want You to help me make a list of ten things that I need in my spouse.   I also want to commit to NOT dating anyone until I get the list completed.  Lead me and guide me in this quest.   Thank you."
   I remember that it took me about one full year to get my list completed.   The Lord slowly revealed the list to me in my Bible readings, in my other readings, in conversations with people, and in my prayer times.   I also remember that I didn't have an invitation for a date until after my list was completed. God was so good to me.   
   I honestly don't know what happened to my list.  Maybe some day I will find the original list stuck in one of my journals somewhere.   But for now, let me see if I can recreate the list from memory.  The list is in no certain order.   

Val's Top Ten List: 
   1.  A growing Christian
   2.  A man who loves his family
   3.  A man who can work with me in the ministry
   4.  A man who likes to exercise/athletics
   5.  A man who is respected 
   6.  A man with a sense of humor
   7.  A man who will be the spiritual leader in our family
   8.  A man who is educated 
   9.  A man who is hospitable 
  10. A man who is easy to talk to

Others that I would joke about with people: 
   1.  I am going to marry a man whose last name is near the beginning of the alphabet. 
   2.  I am only going to marry someone who is an American.  
   3.  I am going to marry a mountain man.

  As I got to know Mike Boado, I began to see that he fit every single one of the things on my list except for the fact that he was NOT an American.   For some reason this was very important to me.   So, I worked to keep Mike Boado at arms length.  I really tried to not let him crawl into my heart.   It worked only for a short time.    

December 24, 2008

Pastor Andrew's Brother

   The first time I saw my (future) husband, I thought he was cute.   But, that was the end of it.   He was a Filipino and so being cute was as far as I would allow my heart to go.   Why?   As a young gal I had gone on several mission trips.   I had seen cross cultural couples.   I had heard about the troubles they had with in-laws and naming their children and making everyone happy on both sides of the ocean.   So, I had made an internal vow -- I would only marry an American. Why?   I knew that marriage was hard.  I knew that marriage was hard when both partners were Americans.   I could only imagine how hard it would be if each partner was from a different culture.   I did not want to find out.   So, I told everyone that I would only marry an American.      
   Mike Boado was standing on the landing in Pastor Andrew's house the first time I saw him.   Julie had called out to me at my house to walk over and meet someone who had come from Manila to visit them.   I had just arrived home from school so I put my bike away and then quickly maneuvered the few steps over to Julie's back entryway.   
                   Mike Boado and son, Steven, in 2007.  

   As I walked in, Julie pointed up towards the landing and said, "Val, this is Pastor Andrew's brother."   I don't remember hearing her say his name so I looked up at him and in my most chipper and happy voice said,   "Hi, Pastor Andrew's brother."    
   I don't remember anything after that.   I am sure they told me his name was Mike and they told him my name was Val.   I am sure they told me that he came to visit from Manila and was on his way home to the small town of Pugo.   I just don't remember.   All we both remember about that first meeting was he looking down at me and me looking up at him.     
   I never in a million years thought that I should burn that meeting into my heart and mind.   I never in a million years thought that this man would wrap himself around my heart and then climb inside.   I never in a million years thought that this man, this Filipino man, would be a part of God's plan to change me forever.   
   But God knew.   God always knows.   He also knew that in His time I would come to realize that my vow to never marry a man who was not an American was a senseless vow.   He also knew that being released from that vow would not be an easy thing for me to do.   I am so glad that God was with me to walk the way that I take.  I don't know what I would have done without His wisdom and grace.   
   

December 22, 2008

God's Word is Gold -- Nugget #2

Romans 6:18  You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.   

   Dirty laundry is never ending.   It never goes away.   Even after all the clothes are clean, dry, and folded, the clothes you have on are always dirty at the end of the day.   
   When I began to do my laundry by hand in Agoo, this truth became very real to me.   When I used the washing machine in the USA, laundry was not a difficult chore.   Throwing my dirty clothes into the laundry basket was no big deal.   But, once I started doing my laundry by hand with my fingers raw and bleeding, the work of dirty laundry became a whole new story.   I became a slave to my laundry.   It became a thorn in my side.   No matter what I did, I could not get rid of my dirty laundry.   The only way to get rid of the problem of my dirty laundry was to find someone to do my laundry for me -- a labandera/laundry woman.   
   God taught me that sin is like dirty laundry.   We can never get rid of it.   We can never get to the bottom of it.   At the end of every day, there is some sin looking me in the face.   I had to learn to give my sin to Jesus in the same way I had to learn to give my dirty laundry to the labandera/laundry woman.    When I give my sin to Jesus, I am no longer a slave to my sin. Jesus takes it from me and so I become a slave to righteousness and not sin.    
   Being a slave to righteousness means that doing the right thing becomes second nature.   You don't have to pray about it, it just comes natural.   You know right away what is right and what is wrong.   I do believe that after 20 years in the Philippines, I can truly say that I am a slave to righteousness.   Am I perfect?   NO. But, doing the right thing comes naturally now.   And, when I make a mistake, that is exactly what it is -- a mistake.   Not a deliberate act of sin.  
   I still have a lot left to learn.  I still have a long way to go in my life and spiritual walk.   But, I am grateful to God for all that I have learned these past 20 years.   One of them is that a slave to righteousness is a person who has given his sin to Jesus and does not dwell on it.  Jesus takes it and deals with it.   I don't have to think about my dirty laundry at the end of the day because Jesus is with me to help me get rid of it.   Oh what a comfort.   
   God is like that.   He knows that sin is never ending.   He knows that I can't do it alone.   My job is to give it to Him.  My job is to understand that He knows the way that I take.   

Lessons from Olga

   As I look back on my time with Olga, I think of all the wonderful things that she taught me. They are valuable lessons that I still use today.   She is the one who taught me to go to the market.   She and I would sit and make our market list and then we would get up early the next morning and go together.   She taught me how to barter with the tindera/sales girl.   She taught me how to choose the best vegetables and fruits.   She even ate fresh pineapple until she was sick of it because she knew how much I loved this new and available fruit.   
   Olga taught me how to do my own laundry by hand.   At one point the gal that did my laundry stopped doing it and so I decided I would do it on my own.  " 'How hard can it be?'  I asked myself."   Well, I would stand at the kitchen sink and wash until my fingers were raw and bleeding.   Olga would watch me scrub my clothes and would say to me:  "Val, don't work so hard.   Just run them through the water."  I learned quickly to scrub them gently and then run them through the water.   
   I would get all finished and my laundry basket would be empty. I would hang the clothes up to dry and I would smile with satisfaction.   Then, as I went to bed that night, I would throw the clothes I had on into my laundry basket.   I learned quickly that there is never an end to dirty clothes.  
  I think the greatest lesson that I learned from Olga was the importance of visitation.   Later, when I arrived in Tagum City, it was the skill of visitation that I had learned from Olga that helped our NEOS ministry to grow.   Olga would talk to me during breakfast and say:  "What are you doing after school today?Would you like to go visiting with me?"   So, we would make a schedule and I would meet her for visitation.   
   Day after day we would go around Agoo simply visiting people; people from the church, people who were college friends, people who had visited the church, and more.   I mostly watched as I didn't know the language.   But, as I watched I would ask myself: What is she doing?   Why does she do this day after day?   What is the reason for all of this visitation?  Is it not a waste of time?     But, as I watched the joy on the faces of the people when Olga would -- hold their newborn baby, or hold the hand of an old lady and listen to the story of when she got married, or cry with a mother whose child was in the hospital, or take water to someone in the hospital, and then pray with each family before she left their home -- I knew that it was not a waste of time.   Olga was making an investment into eternity.   Olga was reaching out and touching lives.    Olga was teaching me a very important skill -- the skill of visitation.    
   To this day, I make a point, no matter where I am in the world, to spend time talking to people in order to get to know them.   I pray for opportunities to turn the conversation around to godly things.   I even work hard to make a point to pray with people.   I have prayed with people in their kitchens, living rooms, on airplanes, in hospitals, on buses, in airports, in doctor's offices, in hotels, . . . . and over the phone.   The simple skill of visitation and making conversation with people can turn someone's bad day into a good one.    
   I am grateful for the time I had in Agoo with Olga.   I am grateful that she taught me the important skills of going to the market, doing laundry by hand, and visitation.   I am mostly grateful that God used her to help change my personality into one that would be an encouragement to others and not a discouragement.   
   God knew I needed Olga because God knew the way that I would take.   

December 20, 2008

The Nipa Hut Academy

   Oh how I wish I had a photo of the little nipa hut that we used as our schoolhouse in Agoo.   It was right next to the Cleveland's home.   There were some desks and chairs inside.   That was pretty much it.   
   We started school around 8am each day.   I would leave my house by 7:45am and ride my bike the one-half mile to school.   Some days I would meet Johnny and Christine coming out of their gate and we would ride the rest of the way together.   
   We did school only in the mornings.   We started each morning with prayer and a short Bible time.   We actually memorized Luke 2:1-20 together that year.  
   I sat alone in the schoolhouse in the afternoons and did lesson plans.   I had 5 sets of plans to do and so it took me quite a while each day.    Even though Johnny and Jobie were in the same grade, they were from two different families and so were using two different curriculums.    
  I guess the most that I remember about teaching that year was teaching Julie kindergarten.   I absolutely love kindergarten and so Julie was my joy as I taught her to read and write.   I would have school with the other four kids first and then Julie and I would have our time together one-on-one.   She was a quick student. 
        Julie with her mom, Helen, and Jobie's children in 2007.   

   My reason for being in the Philippines was to teach school to these 5 wonderful kids.   And, teach them I did.   But, honestly, I don't remember much of the day to day business that went on with school.   I mostly remember the things that went on outside of school.   Things like going visiting with Olga, going to Bible studies with Olga, going to the province of Abra with Olga and Loida, teaching Good News Classes in my home with Olga, .... my year in Agoo was full and wonderful.   I am soooo thankful for the time.   Yet, it was probably the hardest year of my life.    A year that taught me to put my trust completely in God and not in man.   
     More of the story is yet to come.   
      

Rice is Like Water

   I remember a couple of stories from when I lived with Pastor Andrew and Julie.  The first one happened one evening while we were eating dinner.   After being in the Philippines for several weeks and seeing rice on the table for every meal, I began to wonder.   So, I asked Pastor Andrew one of my famous questions:   "Do you ever get tired of rice?"   
   He was quick to respond:  "Val, rice is like water.   We never get tired of it."   
   
  Another cute story was one day I was at the house by myself.   There came a knock on the door.  I opened the door and a gal was wondering where Julie was.   I didn't not know the answer and so I did the best I could to communicate with her.   Later, when Julie came home, I told her that she had had a visitor.   Julie's first question was this:   "What did she look like?"   
   Oh my -- What did she look like?   How do I answer that question?   Well, she was short, dark hair, dark eyes, ....   Oh my -- how do I set her apart from the other Filipinos I have seen?  

   I was learning more and more each day about the culture and the people.   I needed to open my eyes and be more observant.   I needed to open my ears and learn the language.   I needed to open my heart and be more accepting.   I was learning so much.   
   I was slowly beginning to understand the Filipino culture and the Filipino people.   What I didn't know was that the culture and the people were slowly crawling into my heart and I would never be able to get them out.   Never.   

December 19, 2008

God's Word is Gold -- Nugget #1

  Proverbs 27:17 
       As Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.   

   Iron tools are only fit for using if they have been sharpened by rubbing against another piece of iron.   I have discovered in my own life that a person's countenance/personality is only fit for God to use when it has been sharpened by rubbing against another person's countenance/personality.      
   My roommate, Olga, was the iron in my life.  Our personalities were very similar and yet very different.   She was completely Filipino.   I was completely American.   She was small, petite, quiet spoken, and acted like a lady.   I was medium sized, not quiet spoken, and rode my bike all over Agoo wearing my walking shorts.   I could be a lady when I needed to.   But not all the time.   She knew the importance of being a lady all the time -- even when riding a bike with walking shorts on.   I still had to learn that.   
   God put the two of us together for a purpose.   God used our friendship and personalities to sharpen us for the plans He had for the way that each of us was going to take.   If we had not lived together for those 8 months and had not had the struggles that we did together, our lives after Agoo would have been more difficult.   
   God was preparing me to live in the Philippines for the rest of my life.   God was preparing her to live with people from all nations of the world for the rest of her life.   It was important that we lived together.   It was a very difficult and yet very important time for both of us.                 
   We are both better women because of our friendship.   She is one of my dearest friends on earth.   We are good to keep in touch.   We email and we even call each other to pray together no matter where we are in the world. And she is always off somewhere telling someone about Jesus.  I am sure that she even tells them how He changed her and prepared her for the way that she would take.   
   God is like that.   He knows just what I need even when I don't know it. What a comfort.   

A New Culture is Shocking

   Wikipedia states that culture shock is the feeling a person gets after a certain length of time in a new and different culture.   Culture shock causes a person to feel uncertain about which actions are appropriate and which actions are inappropriate.  It can cause frustrations and even anger in certain individuals.   (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock)
   I definitely went through culture shock.   I don't remember exactly when it started but it began slowly and I learned the hard way that a new culture is shocking.   
   I lived with a Filipina, Olga.   She was a Bible woman for the church.   I had a talk with her when we first moved in together.   I said: "Please tell me when I make mistakes.   I am new to this culture and I have a lot to learn.   I need your help."   
   I am a person who asks a lot of questions.   I always have.   I ask questions so that I can learn and know and understand.   So, since Olga was my roommate, and she was the one I had asked to help me, I began to ask her questions.  Questions like:   Why do you wash the dishes that way?   Why do you do your laundry that way?  Why is the wet market set up the way it is set up?   What is the difference between going to the market and going to the grocery?   How do you flush the toilet if there is no handle to push so that it will flush?   Why do you cook rice that way?  Why do they say the meeting starts at 3pm when really it starts at 5pm?  When a visitor comes to my house and I ask him if he wants something to drink and he says no, why am I a bad hostess since I didn't give him anything to drink?   .....   I remember asking question after question.  I was a sponge who wanted to learn everything I could about life in the Philippines.   
   I had no idea the trouble that my questions were brewing.  One day Olga stopped talking to me.   I couldn't figure out what was going on.   I asked her over and over what the matter was.   I was totally baffled.   So, I asked her the big question: "Is it me?   Have I done something to upset you?"   When she wouldn't look at me or answer my question, I knew I had done something.   
    I left the house to go on a walk.   I walked all over Agoo for a couple of hours talking to the Lord in prayer.   "Lord, what have I done?   What did I do to make her so angry with me?  I am trying so hard to do the right thing.   I am trying so hard to ask before I do anything so that I will know what is appropriate and what is inappropriate.   I am really sincerely trying Lord.   What have I done?"   
   I arrived back home to both Pastor Cleveland and Olga sitting in our sala/living room.     While I had been away, she had gone to Pastor Cleveland to ask for help in talking to me. She had asked him to join us so she could bear her heart to me. She had written me a letter.  As I sat and listened to the words that she had written in her letter, I began to wrestle with what she was trying to say to me.   
   All of the questions I had asked her were in the letter.   All of the help I had wanted from her was hitting me in the face.   She had taken each question personally.   She had taken each question as a slap to the culture of the Filipino people -- her people.   All I could do was listen.   As I listened, my tears began to flow slowly.   As the letter got longer and longer as to the hurt I had caused her, my tears turned to weeping.   I had never cried so hard in my life.   I had to put my head down between my knees to keep from passing out.   I was crying because I had hurt my new friend.   I was crying because everything she was saying was not what I had intended.   What I had intended for good and learning had become a thorn in her side.   I was totally devastated by the hurt I had caused.   I was totally shocked that no one had said a word to me until now.   
   When the letter was finally over.   I was asked to respond.   I got down on my knees in front of Olga and I apologized for hurting her.   I explained that I had not meant to hurt her.   I explained that my questions were sincere and had nothing to do with her culture but with my own stupidity and wanting to learn.      Pastor Cleveland was able to help us come to forgiveness and healing.   He prayed with us and left us alone after it was over.   We went to our separate rooms to absorb what had just happened.    
   I honestly do not remember the next morning or the days that immediately followed.   I do remember that we continued to live together.   I continued to learn from Olga and go visiting with her. I continued to be her friend.   But, my questions stopped.   The excitement that I had had before was no longer there.   I was different.   I was learning a great lesson.   I was learning to think and pray carefully before speaking.   I was learning that my personality needed to change.   It was a hard lesson and one that has taken me years upon years in the Philippines to learn.   
   Twenty years after this incident, Olga is still my friend.   We are both strong personalities and I believe that was part of the problem.   Some people are better friends than roommates.   It was a lesson we both had to learn.   And we both had to learn it the hard way.   But, God's grace is beautiful and forgiveness is awesome.   
   I also remember that God knows the way that I take and when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.   I was being tested. I was on my way to coming forth as gold.   How many more tests would come, I didn't know.   It was good that I didn't know or I would have left the Philippines and missed all that God wanted for me in the way that I take. 

Stay with me ....  more testing ahead.